Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
