I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
