Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
