I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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