Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
