Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
