whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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