i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
