it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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