Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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