i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
