Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
