Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
