i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
