the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
