I think im going to throw up on grandma
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
