Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
