My nipple is on Facebook.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
