At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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