Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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