I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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