The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
