apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
