girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
