I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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