How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
