Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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