just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
please don't ironically join a cult
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