Pappa wants mamma naked
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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