I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
