It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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