Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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