No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
