Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
wow bdsm is so cute
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
