im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
