I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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