I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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