I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
