In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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