I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
