biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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