My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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