you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize