Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
