He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
