Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
