Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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