I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
