so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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