Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You can't motorboat a personality
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
