Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
