She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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