As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
