Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
