My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
