Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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