Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
