butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize